Happy Mid Autumn Festival everyone!! We don't have 4 seasons here but it's a celebration that everyone is eager to celebrate especially Chinese people.. Mooncakes,pomelos,tea,lanterns and candles appear in most of the places that people are celebrating the festival.. However in my family it is just another day no different than any other plain,boring and dull day. Mum is in the hall watching series, bro and sister doing their own thing and I'm alone in my room doing things like this. People always say things will be better or "you'll overcome it,you always do" or "this is not the worse" but do they actually know what is happening? No.. You don't because you've not lived my life for the past 20 years and you don't have my family.. I know the concern is there but telling that it will be ok will not work.
I smile,laugh,make stupid jokes and even join events just to fill up my time and take my mind off things that are hurtful to me. Like my "friends" say I'm destined to be alone with my attitude and stuff.. So yes I'm prepared to be alone, I'm prepared to block people out and most of all I'm prepared to die alone. Why have company when you can't be yourself? When you've got to change to please other people? I change every time to please everyone but does anyone ever ask if I'm please? Or what? No..
Relationships,Friendships,Family ties they are all the same.. You can never trust anyone but yourself.. TRUST is a word not seen in my vocabulary very often as I've seen and also commit lies after being hurt and cheated many times.. I'm not going to play nice when people are not nice to begin with..
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