Thoughts

On weekends like this one can't help but ponder over things that have happened in the past and also wonder about how their future may be. On weekends like this I like to sit back and relax at the comfort of my own room.. But this week was a tough one.. I don't know what I should do or what I want with my life at this point. My love life is not going smoothly and studies equally as bad. Family whom everyone says is the best support you can get is not helping at all.. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut or quicksand which sucks me in the more I struggle to break free.. My mum thinks I'm not trying hard to graduate, my coursemates I don't know what they think but I'm embarassed for not being able to pull through even after so long.

Today I tried talking to someone that I had something with last time but it failed. I feel like I'm creating more distance than I'm trying to bridge the gap. I think that this is it. This is the end of the line and it may not work out anymore. I don't understand the difficulty of LDR as I believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder. But maybe I'm just being silly, maybe I'm just being naive thinking that these things may happen.. I'm tired of trying,tired of giving a damn about anything. Maybe I'm just tired putting a front for people to see everyday..

I close my eyes every night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. I still do but as each day passes me by I grow weary and one day, just one day it might come true..